


Only Two Feet Apart Cause It IS Gay

by UglyTunaSandwich



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: 500 follower fic giveaway!, Bokuto Koutarou & Kuroo Tetsurou are Bros, Cockblocking, Gay Panic, Love Confessions, M/M, kinda sorta it makes sense in the fic lol, technically not cursed but a lil cursed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-17 04:28:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29960946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UglyTunaSandwich/pseuds/UglyTunaSandwich
Summary: What's in a straw?
Relationships: Bokuto Koutarou/Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 12
Kudos: 35





	Only Two Feet Apart Cause It IS Gay

**Author's Note:**

  * For [QuasarScorpion](https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuasarScorpion/gifts).



> did this for my 500 follower fic giveaway cause somehow my crazy ass convinced 500 ppl to follow me. are yall good? are you lost baby girl?

If Tetusrou goes back over his plan, he did everything right: find something you like, find a group you enjoy it with, and make some friends. He double-checked, _ triple-checked  _ (were there too many times to check?) the to-do list and not one item included “get a best friend and then fall in love with him for a one-sided pining shojo anime type bullshit.” He even checked a fourth time to be sure. 

Yet here they were, pulling up to a drive-in theater that Bo (as he affectionately calls him to try and bridge that gap– it doesn’t) had to beg him into going to. Honestly? He didn’t have to. Tetsurou was ready to jump at the opportunity to spend time with him outside of volleyball faster than Koutarou jumped moods. It was horrible, really. But he couldn’t do that. He had to remain suave. Calm, cool, collected. Otherwise known as the dumb persona he made up to make it look like he wasn’t a complete wreck for this himbo before him. 

They sat in the car organizing their snacks that any pro athlete would tut at with an accompanied “for shame.”  _ Yea, for shame you couldn’t indulge, you prick.  _ Did he...really just...argue with a theoretical pro athlete in his head? An internal groan resounded from within. Why was he like this?

“It’s fine, you don’t have to if you don’t want to anymore. I can just–”

“No, it’s totally cool!” What did he just agree to? Who knows– all he knew that saying yes would make his friend happy. It would make his friend light it up the way he was now as he stuck  _ a second straw into Tetsurou’s slurpy? What the fuck? _

Oh, he wants to share a slurpy. That’s fine. This is fine. 

Tetsurou is taken back to them ordering at the stand earlier. Ah yes, the “fifteen minutes ago Tetsurou” who lightheartedly said that they could just share like friends. Bros. Nothing bad with swapping a little spit. Wait, no, that’s not– ehh, well…

The thing is, if Tetsurou was going to swap spit, he didn’t want it to be some indirect kiss bullshit. He’d never been so envious of a piece of plastic in his goddamn life.  _ How do Koutarou’s lips feel, you whore?  _ All the straw did was bend and squish under the pressure of his mouth as Koutarou innocently slurped away. Disgusting.

Koutarou’s boisterous laughter snapped him out of his unbridled rage. “Geez, you look so angry! What, you wish you were the straw right now?” he teased, eyebrows wagging with mirth. A quickly growing blush across the raven’s cheeks told him more than he asked. He cleared his throat and did his best to redirect the conversation. “What do you think’s gonna happen?”

“If I became a straw?” he asked. You know, like a fucking idiot. 

Koutarou’s laugh sounded like someone who decided that throwing nails in a blender was a good idea. It was loud, demanding,  _ commanding _ . Aaand Testurou was whipped. Why did he like this? Why did he like hearing his best friend laugh at his antics? His best friend wiping the barely there tears on his eyes? Why did he–

“In the movie, bro?” He finally wheezed. “But if you were a straw, I’d treat you so well, bro.”

Is there a word stronger than whipped? He had to know. Tetsurou  _ had  _ to know. Because  _ why _ did the thought of Koutarou treating him well as  _ a fucking straw _ affect him? Like, that’s not even  _ fair _ ! What kinda bullshit–

“Oya?” Tetsurou gave his signature cheshire grin. Well, he didn’t know if it was “signature” per se, but he knew it was the one for when he was done feeling flustered and needed to be cool again. So he gave that one. The one that said “I am not affected by your ways of seduction, siren.” Though if Tetsurou’s siren was that of the concept of being treated well by Koutarou for being a straw, he had bigger issues on his plate. 

“I’d treat you so fucking good, bro.”

“Would you recycle me?”

“I’d never throw you out, bro.”

“What if someone needed a straw?”

“You’d be  _ my  _ straw, they can get their own.”

Why? Why the  _ fuck _ did he find this so romantic? Fuck “And they were roommates!” Has anyone ever felt the pure, unadulterated devotion behind someone promising to take care of them as a disposable straw? Tetsurou didn’t think so. Case closed.

“Well…” Tetsurou licked his lips, yo-yoing between wanting to be a straw, no,  _ his  _ straw right now, and wanting to end...whatever the fuck was going on. “Can you show me?”

It was Koutarou’s turn to blush now, eyes wide with astonishment. “Wha-what?” 

That’s right. Checkmate, bitch. “Pretend I’m your straw and show me how you’d treat me.” Why was he smiling? Why did he feel like he “won” something? What the fuck did he even “win?” Why was Koutarou’s hand creeping his side _ oh shit oh fuck oh– _

“I’d hold you tight, but not too hard so I don’t squish you.” Koutarou’s voice was low now. Nervous. Apprehensive. He looked to Tetsurou for permission for his… “demonstration.”

Tetsurou swallowed.  _ Hard. _ “Yeah? Then what?” he croaked, his throat dryer than their popcorn because he just remembered that he forgot the butter.

Koutarou leaned in a little closer, bringing the hand on Testurou’s waist up to his face. “And then I’d make sure you stayed put.”

Tetsurou felt an unbearable heat rise from his chest to his face. “Mhm.”

“And then...I’d…” Koutarou licked his lips as he closed in. His eyes flickered from his lips and back up to meet Tetsurou’s. 

_ Bang bang bang! _

Tetsurou took it back. The straw got a free pass for its annoying existence. What he really wanted to do was end Konoha Akinori right here and right now. 

“Stop makin’ out in public, you horny bastards!” 

“Oh, he finally asked him out?” came from a distance. 

“He’s practically sucking the life out of him!”

“I would be if you’d just shut up!” Koutarou blushed furiously at the display of his fellow team members. “Sorry, I–”

“Next time?”

Koutarou’s eyes were filled with stars.  _ Next time _ ? “Um, yeah. Next time.”

**Author's Note:**

> yeth


End file.
